Journey for Hope

Big Decisions

2006-10-29T18:20:00.000-08:00

After much deliberation, prayer and sleepness nights we decided to give Melody back. It was the most difficult decision we have ever had to make. She has been gone now for two weeks.

After 10 weeks with our family, Melody did not show one single sign of attaching to any of us. She never did grieve the loss of her first foster mom that she lived with for her first year of life. That should have been a sign, but we made every excuse for Melody and her behavior.

The other major reason we made our decision was because Melody was showing some signs of severe cognitive delays. I felt that she was mentally retarded. Fellow Special Education Teachers said her symptoms sounded like Autism. Either way, it was exhausting retraining Melody in basic tasks every single day.

Every single child profile we completed for our agency showed that we did not want cognitive disabilities; we wanted physical disabilities and medical challenges. Our agency was useless... from day one until the day we made the call. Worthless.

This experience has been horrible, to put it mildly. Family Connections Christian Adoptions was less than supportive and NEVER ONCE ADVOCATED for us. We just did it all ourselves... all the while they collected nearly $1,000/month while Melody was placed in our home. They made their twice monthly visits and offered absolutely nothing else.

The one time we asked for assistance in getting Melody tested for Down Syndrome and other cognitive issues, our lovely Social Worker (we got rid of this one, but it was too late by then) made a referral to a Public Health Nurse (who called me very bewildered and asked me what she was supposed to do... ummm... PHNs don't handle that kind of stuff. *sigh*)

I thought I should update our blog and at least let you know what happened.

We are finally making some BIG strides!

2006-09-14T22:58:00.000-07:00

Melody walked! She is doing GREAT... she is still a little wobbly... the experts all say it's a preemie thing. She's loving the independence and looks awfully proud of herself!

Melody is signing more words and understands a lot more of my signs to her.

We had a team evaluation today and will be starting visits with a speech and language teacher and the deah and hard of hearing teacher. They told us that we should continue with the sign language, but once we get some of the hearing issues worked out she will probably learn to speak.

I'm excited that we finally have things moving... it feels like we have been stagnant for a very long time, but really only 7 weeks. LOL!

Big Sister is really coming to love her sissy. It is very sweet. A little convo they had in the car the other day...
Big Sis: Just do what mommy says and it all be okay
Lil Sis: *grunt*
Big Sis: Eat your dinner all up
Big Sis: *growl*
At this point Melody was probably signing "more" and "milk"... she signs these ALL day long! :o)

We are finding our groove as a family of 4 now. :o)

Baby Steps

2006-08-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

Melody took her first unassisted step today! WooHoo!!!!

It took LOTS of coaxing and praise, but she finally took a tiny one. I could see in her expressions how badly she wanted this... and she finally did it! I couldn't get her to take another, but one is plenty for today!

I told her to take one for Chauncy.... and she did!
(Chauncy - Our beloved kitty of almost 20 years passed yesterday.)

Great job Melody!!!

~Mommy

adoption is hard

2006-08-08T10:42:00.000-07:00

enough said.

Transitions are hard

2006-07-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

Poor little Melody... transitions are hard! She really is a very happy girl and rarely cries, but since Saturday (when her overnights began and turned into placement) she has rarely laughed. Brenna's laughter gets her all giggly, but we were missing the big belly laughs we used to get!

We were told that the transition would take about 3 weeks and to watch for certain signs of shock, but we haven't seen any of that. She doesn't look for or call out for her foster mom. We feel that Melody lives in the moment.

This morning we were greeted with BIG smiles and shortly thereafter spontaneous giggling... we have had tons of giggles today and a few of those belly laughs we missed. I think she's back... and we couldn't be happier!

I had the sudden realization that I am the parent of a special needs child. Although I have known this was coming, it just hit me a couple of days ago. We have been on the phone to pharmacists, doctors, clinics, early intervention programs, social workers, suppliers for durable medical goods, etc.... several hours a day have been spent on the phone. It's a good thing both Derrick and I are off work for a while. Our future is going to be full of appointments, medications and deliveries.

I have suspected that there were more issues with Melody than were ever disclosed to us. I do NOT think this was information that was being held from us, I truly feel that doctors do not know the extent of Melody's disabilities. As a special education teacher, I see some characteristics that are waving red flags in my face. I saw them on visits, but Derrick dismissed my concerns. Now that we are both with Melody 24/7 we think there is more going on. Her Pediatrician said that she was fine and would live a fairly "normal" life. Well, in a 20 minute visit you don't see a lot of the characteristics that we are seeing. Foster mom really wanted to believe that Melody was fine, too... she "covered" for her a lot.

None if this is bad news to me. It just means more phone calls to get Melody the best of therapy and services so that she has the best chance at "normalcy".

As far as my feelings, I am very happy. In my heart I feel this is totally right. I thank God for bringing Melody to us and I hope we bless her life as much as I know she will bless ours!

The deadline came and ....

2006-07-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

we have a new addition to our family!!!

Yesterday we signed TONS of paperwork for two different agencies and Melody is now a part of our family! I am in disbelief, as I really didn't expect Melody's SW to get things lined up for placement to happen... so many things have been stalled along the way... so many delays... *sigh*

The transition has been good so far! Melody doesn't seem to be missing her FM all too much. She calls out for her when she is really tired and that is it. She reaches for me, says "ma ma ma ma" when she sees me walk into the room. Derrick has taken some time off work so we are all at home and hanging out. :o)

Our biggest issue has been eating... Melody has a sweet tooth that was satisfied often by her FM. She is not big on the fruits and veggies... she has a strong preference for cake, ice cream and the like... things you won't find much of in our house. It's been slow going but she is eating heartily fresh fruits and veggies.

Melody isn't walking yet.... she probably won't for a while. She has developmental delays that go along with being a premature baby. She doesn't talk much either... it's more like baby babble. She will sign a few words though... she loves to mimic us!

Derrick and I are exhausted! It's like a new infant in the house.... baby bottles, making home made baby food, cloth diapers, plus medications, oxygen, etc. It all seems so new!

Brenna is diggin' her new sister! She LOVES to push her around in the baby walker and read her stories in the crib. If Melody gets upset, Brenna tries to comfort her. It is very sweet! The hardest part has been keeping Brenna out Melody's crib. LOL!

...and she shall be called.....

2006-07-19T20:55:00.000-07:00

Well, let me back up here! Last Saturday we had Baby M here for a day visit. Her SW and Foster Mom both drove Baby M to our house. I was at the Amtrak station dropping off my mom when Baby M and her entourage arrived. While I was out, Baby M's SW asked Derrick if we were going to change her name. Well, uhhhh.... what are we supposed to say? Our agency told us not to ever mention changing a child's name as many SWs frown upon this. So, Derrick told the SW this. She was actually very open to changing Baby M's given name and even gave us tips on how to transition to her new name... which we had already figured out...LOL!

So, her name will be Melody! The name makes me smile.

Melody is asleep upstairs right now. She is here for her first overnight visit!!! She has done very well. She is not used to the heat we are experiencing, so we have kept her in all day. She loves the dogs, our old diabetic kitty, Brenna and her toys (LOL!) and just hanging out with her new forever family!
I will take her back to her Foster Mom's house tomorrow, but she will return to us soon.

Smiles,
Sunshine :o)

First "Away" Visit ~ Wonderful Day!

2006-07-04T08:36:00.000-07:00

We had our first "away" visit... away from FMs house.
We took BART into San Francisco. It was BabyMs first experience on BART and Brenna's second.
Baby M took in all of the new sites and sounds. She was very alert and happy! We all were!
We walked up to Union Square and sat on the grass in the shade to eat our snack picnic style. There was some opera music playing somewhere and that was Brenna's cue to dance. She danced and danced and danced! So adorable! Baby M sat with me while I fed her fruit and milk. (She holds her own bottle now... an accomplishment for her!)
We walked around a bit and saw the Hare Krishnas parading around, chanting over a loud speaker... we saw them several times... they drew a crowd! DH had to get a picture of that one.
We found the Paul Frank store where Brenna enticed Baby M with a pink Sock Monkey... yep, daddy is a softy and bought it for Baby M.
After a few hours, we were ready to head back to FMs... taking one small child to the city is a tough enough and two makes it downright exhausting! LOL!

The timeline...

2006-06-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

all tentative, of course!

This Sunday we are scheduled for our first "away" visit, meaning we can take Baby M away from the FMs house and the SW wants us to keep her most of the day. :o)

The following week (if the Pulmonologist clears Baby M off her oxygen fulltime - the sleep study is scheduled for this week) Baby M's social worker will bring her over to our house for the day.

If all goes well at her visit to our home, then shortly thereafter she will do an overnight with us... maybe even that same weekend... and if she does well then she will be placed here....

So, with all of that being said, it looks like she may be placed here for her mid-July appt. at Stanford! (That is our goal at least!! Our agency is even on board with the "let's get a move on this" thought.)

Big smiles,
Sunshine :o)

What's new....

2006-06-27T06:36:00.000-07:00

We had a meeting yesterday... all of the social workers to talk about the Needs and Treatment plan. Derrick and I both feel like we finally made some headway. We have been sitting in a holding pattern for weeks and nothing has moved. It's frustrating to be driving two hours each way to spend a couple of hours with Baby M and then do it again a few days later. We enjoy our time with her, but how long do they expect us to take two days out of every week before we are allowe dto take Baby M out alone or home for a visit to our house? Social workers seem to like to drag their feet.

In our meeting we explained that we are burning time. My summer break will end in less than two months and I refuse to take time off at the beginning of the school year. It would make my school year hell! It may sound harsh, but I gave up teaching summer school b/c the social workers said they would be placing M shortly after I finished up the school year. So... GRRRR.... I passed up some good income and we still don't have Baby M here! I also feel if I said, "sure, I can take time off at the beginning of the school year," then that would just give the SWs permission to drag things out further.

Derrick keeps reminding me that we cannot keep rearranging our lives for these social workers, we need to continue to live our life. It does feel like our life is on hold. We cannot take Baby M camping, or traveling for a while so we have had to forego all of our summer travel plans. :o(

So, last night I came to the revelation why Baby M's SW *may* be dragging her feet. Baby M's Foster Mom (FM) ROCKS! We love her! It gives Baby M's SW great security having Baby M with her. SW is still in the mindset that Baby M is a medically fragile baby and she is worried about her going out of county and losing the security of being with FM. I can understand that.

What frustrates Derrick and I (and FM too) is that if this is a viable placement (and hey said it will happen) then why are they dragging their feet? Let's getthe placement going so that Baby M can begin bonding with our family. The longer she is with FM the harder the transition will be.

Another upsetting issue yesterday was to see some major dissention on a forum for AtresiaMicrotia (a little malformed ear). These parents band together for support and information. One parent blogged that one surgery option (there are 4 ways to address AM: rib graft surgery, medpor, prosthetic, do nothing at all) looked bad and she did not know why parents would choose this. Okay, you are entitled to your opinion, but to be on a forum where parents HAVE chosen this route and are happy with the results is just wrong! She basically told these parents their child's ears were UGLY! How cruel is this??? I thought the purpose of the forum was to be supportive. I could not believe that a parent of a child who is disfigured would pop off such remarks to other parents. I thought having a child who is disabled or looks a little different would make you MORE sensitive to others, but I guess I was wrong. I was greatly disheartened. :o(

So much more to blog, but this one is long enough already...
Blessing,
Sunshine :o)

Baby M at the Lake

2006-06-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

Baby M was up at her Foster Mom's cabin this week... so Brenna and I trekked up there for a visit. It was so beautiful and smelled so yummy! Baby M had a blast playing in the lake! (So did Brenna!!!) I watch Baby M and her FM (Foster Mom) together (as seen in the picture) and it makes me sad. FM has been the best thing to happen to Baby M and I know Baby M will grieve at placement time. I know I will cry with her, knowing the wonderful woman she will be missing. :O(

Derrick spoke with one of the SWs and she said we are still on for a placement prior to July 12th!!! I had given up on anything happening before that date (Baby M has an appt. that we are supposed to take her to), but it looks like we are still on!!! WooHoo!

Feeling like a family....

2006-06-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

We had the most wonderful visit yesterday.... we just hung out, but Derrick and I agreed that it was the first time we felt like a family, all 4 of us. Baby M is so comfortable with us, she makes it easy!
Brenna LOVES being the big sister and plays with Baby M. Brenna loves to roar like a lion and Baby M thought it was hysterical... Brenna roared over and over and Baby M would give us the big belly laughs and then wait in anticipation (with a smile) for the next one. Brenna is such a caretaker, that she loves to help with Baby M.
The picture is Brenna "helping" to put Baby M down for her nap. :o)
We are counting down the days...

Doctor's are SO impressed!

2006-06-12T20:35:00.000-07:00

We met with Baby M's pediatrician last week for a consult. Her ped. could not have been more in awe of this special little girl! He told us how sick she really was as a newborn and how far she has come! She truly is the little fighter with the determined spirit that I saw in her the first time we met her!
Baby M also saw her pulmonogist and is about ready to be weaned off her oxygen 100%. She has one more test to pass before her doctor wll clear her. She has also been reduced from 4 nebulizer treatments each day to just one. Hallelujah! Her Pulmonologist is also very impressed by Baby M's strides!

We just adore her and CANNOT wait to have her with us fulltime! She is precious! :o)

We found her!!!

2006-06-10T14:49:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in forever.... I stopped when it became apparent that our evil neighbor, the 48yo Spinstress, was reading our blog. She is Satan in disguise and will do anything to try to hurt our family. She went as far as taking pictures of us stating in her wicked voice, "This is for the adoption agency!"
Whatever! If you nothing better to do in your life than try to stop our adoption or think you can get my husband fired, then you are truly pathetic!

So, on to our happy news (since many of you have asked what is going on.)
We found our girl! She is Baby M. She is living in a fabulous foster home and we couldn't have asked for a better foster mom! She is wonderful to Baby M. and we will be sad when Baby M is placed in our home, we will grieve with Baby M as she misses her most awesome "Oma". We will keep Baby M's Oma in our lives... we owe it to the both of them and we love her as our own family!

Baby M.... she is one... she is a special needs baby. She had a very rough beginning in life, but has been the little fighter and overcome many obstacles in her way. She has Goldenhar Syndrome. She is facially disfigured, but a lovely little girl! (I do fear the horrid comments from "the" neighbor as I have been subjected to them myself, being called, "fat, ugly and in need of some serious psychiatric help"... just to give you an idea of how wicked this woman can be.)

To give you an idea of how fat and ugly I am I included a picture of myself at the top. Pictured with me is our adorable daughter who just turned three, Brenna Grace! We visited Minnie's house at Disneyland a couple of months ago. :o)

Back to the Baby... we are getting ready for placement... we visit Baby M twice weekly, I have started going to her specialist appointments... and there are a lot! Brenna adores her little sister and she tells anyone who will listen about her "Hope" (as we have referred to our adopted daughter from the beginning.) The girls' room was just repainted in a cool princess theme. We purchased new bedding for the crib and for Brenna since she has graduated to a "big girl" bed!

We are busy readying our home and life for the new addition!
Thank you to all that have shared in this journey with us... I will keep you posted of our progress and promise to blog soon!

We are flying Domestic Airlines....

2005-09-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

We had a our Intake Interview yesterday.... it was delayed a day, much to my disappointment, b/c Derrick was tied up on a big marijuana call on Tuesday. *sigh* The perils of being married to a Police Officer.... :o)

Our appointment went well. We met with the Executive Director and the agency really feels we are GREAT candidates for the Hong Kong program, althuogh we are leaning heavily towards the domestic program. You cannot do both at the same time. We had to decide at this meeting because this is the Y in the road. So the Exec. Dir. said that we will fast track it on the US program, but to let her know when Home Study is complete and she will keep her eyes open for a Hong Kong baby while our Social Worker is searching domestically. I love the fact that they listen to what we want and are making some accomodations, too! We never would have found that with our last agency.

The next steps are to get our fingerprints and criminal checks and complete our application. Then we attend 2 more education classes at the end of October and then our Home Study will begin! They say4 months is a reasonable time frame for our Home Study to be completed, so maybe by the end of Feb/beginning of March we will be searching for a child!

I'm so stinkin' excited.... I hope to have a new toddler in our home by Brenna's 3rd birthday.

~Sunshine :o)

I think we have Take Off

2005-09-27T06:05:00.000-07:00

We are off again!

We have completed the first three educatioin classes with our new agency. We feel really comfortable with the process and the new agency. (Derrick keeps saying that, so I know he is feeling good about this.)

Today we have our Intake Interview scheduled and if we go Domestic our final ed classes are scheduled for the end of October. That is when our HomeStudy will officially begin.

We are still wobbling on Domestic or International. We are pretty set on a Special Needs child. It's wonderful to see how Derrick has gone from leary to excited about a SN baby. We have to complete Levels of Acceptance forms... over and over... 4 times actually.... same form. It's cool to see how different conditins grow on the two of us.

I am in the middle of a long sub assignment with my summer school class. They are left without a teacher so far this year. The cool thing about it, is that I am exposed to a miriad of diablilties on a daily basis and they just don't seem quite so bad... my class is severly disabled, but they are all just a loving bunch of sweet kids! :o)

This is an exciting time for us. We'll post an update when we know which direction we are taking... we are supposed to decide today with the help of a Social Worker.

~Sunshine :o)

Logging a new Flight Plan

2005-09-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

So, here we are... getting things in order to embark on the Journey again, but taking a new path this time.

Tuesday we are starting the entire process all over again... with a new agency.

At this point, I'm hoping that a local agency will complete our Home Study and a different agency will coordinate the China requirements, adoption, travel, etc.

Will keep you posted. :o)

~Sunshine

Fired our agency

2005-08-26T13:54:00.000-07:00

Derrick just met with our adoption agency and fired them.
We are not continuing anything further with them.

We ARE attending an orientation for another agency in a couple of weeks.
Yes, this means we are back to square one, we have given up the opportunity to adopt the little HepB pos girl, but we are excited about working with a new agency. We have two in mind right now. We do hope that the HomeStudy process moves a long a little quicker this time since we have a little experience in that dept now! LOL!

We feel good about this decision and dissolving the contract with the agency was not difficult. It is all feeling right.

~Sunshine :o)

Lost

2005-08-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

Here we are again... we don't know which way to turn.

Do we proceed with our current agency since we ARE in contract with them?

Do we see if we can break the contract and go with another agency?

Do we try to have current agency finish HomeStudy and then move on?

Or, worse yet, do we just it all off before we invest more time, energy and money?

This is an awful feeling... been here for over a week and still don't have any answers. We were supposed to camping up in Lake Tahoe next week for 5 day, but cancelled. Too many things to deal with and cannot do so from afar. We have a lot to think about.

The agency wants us to pick up medical records for the HepB baby for our pediatrician to review, but we have not. We think if there is another family that wants her, then they should have her. She is in my heart, but the most important thing is that she receives a loving, caring family, whether it is ours or not. It's very sad to let her go.

So, here we sit... lost...

~Sunshine

Turbulence

2005-08-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

*sigh*
Derrick spoke with our Social Worker yesterday and they relented on most of the ridiculous demands, but we still need to find out about any caps on our health insurance, find and pay a CPA to review my FlutterbyBaby books and write a letter as to my projected income, and write up a another financial statement without FBB income for three months. (The agency feels I should not work/sew for three months when we bring Hope home.)

Then they through a bone... they said we were first on the list for a match with the Hep B baby that has captured my heart. I am feeling so many things about this. I want to reach out and snatch her up! I am also very angry for the agency/social worker to say this when we are at this juncture. We were told that we could only place a letter of interest since our HomeStudy is not complete yet. We did that. We were then told that there were other families interested in this particular baby that were further along in the adoption process. We were okay with that, too. As long as she gets a loving family that will give her the best, that is what is important to us. So why does their tune change when we are co close to walking out the door of the agency and looking elsewhere? Are they trying to keep us roped in?

I think it was highly unfair to even "go there" with this child with all that is sitting on the table. Derrick and I are talking... a lot! We are leaning towards leaving this agency. If we decide we want to cautiously proceed, the Derrick will have to sit down in a meeting with Jennifer and her supervisor. (I don't think I should go, as I am pretty emotional over all of this.) Derrick could then lay all the cards out on the table and evaluate from there.

Our concern is that we will give them a HUGE check and the few added documents they have requested and then they will keep asking for a contingency plan for this and that... I don't want to feel stuck. If we are to find another agency, then now is better than later. We are praying for guidance.

~Sunshine

Crash Landing... :o(

2005-08-11T06:06:00.000-07:00

Rec'd a call from adoption agency yesterday... they are very concerned about our financial situation and feel that maybe the most responsible thing to do right now is to NOT adopt at this time.
Now we have debt, Lord knows we have debt... but we resources as well. No one seems to want to take into account my income from FlutterbyBaby. It's a long and drawn out ordeal and the want us to write up more financial statements... to include, contingency plans... what if Derrick loses his job (Modesto has job security, big time, for law enforcement), loses the health insurance for the family, what will I do if I bring Hope home and don't work for 3 months... what of Derrick loses his job and I cannot get a job right away... do you see a trend here?
You get by, you pull on the resources you have, you liquidate if necessary, but there is always a roof over our head and food on our table. Derrick and I don't live a lavish life style, but we do live very middle class. Brenna lacks for NOTHING! Derrick and I don't get all the new clothes, shoes and toys... we don't need that stuff. We would rather put our money into paying bills (and boy do we have 'em) and going camping... good quality family time!

How many of you have contingency plans in writing??? Other adopting families are not asked to write these out, so we will not. We may be leaving our adoption agency today. I spent over 30 mins on the phone talking to Jennifer, who is fresh out of college and very young, about our finances. Do I have plans? Of course! Will we get out of debt? Of course! Do we have equity in our home? YES! Do we have short and long term goals? Absolutely! (I am the goal queen!) I felt so belittled... she suggested that now may not be the right time... well, ummm.... wanting my two children to be close in age is important... it's now or never.

So, we'll see what pans out today... Jennifer is speaking to her supervisor (I think we are her first family to do the paper shuffle with) and is supposed to call this afternoon. Derrick is taking over at this point... it's just tooo emotional for me!

I feel like we have crash landed... where do we go from here? ( I have a plan.... LOL!)

~Sunshine

Special Needs

2005-08-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

This has been a very busy and eventful week in our progress towards adopting "Hope". Monday morning we went in for our individual interviews, which is the final step before our home visit. With those interviews began a week of serious contemplation about which direction we should be going with our adoption.

After the interviews, we browsed through the "Book of Promise", which details the special needs children that are available for international adoption. For some time now we have discussed a special needs child and what we would be willing to take on as a family. A lot of the children in the book suffered from fairly serious disabilities and most were older than we had planned on adopting. But after looking through the profiles, I think Sunshine and I both were more serious about adopting a special needs child.

The next day, our case worker called and told Sunshine that a new set of profiles had arrived. Sunshine stopped in while out Wednesday morning and was smitten by three little girls. Baby A had a cleft lip and pallete, Baby B has been diagnosed as a Hep B carrier and Baby C has a club foot. I made it in on Friday afternoon to look at the profiles and I was smitten, too. All three girls are little dolls. The one that really tugged at our hearts was Baby B (the one with Hep B). We have done a lot of internet research and talking to friends in the medical field and although her condition is pretty serious and will likely mean a lifetime of care and maintenence, we put in a "letter of interest" for her. Even as we did that, we were still contemplating the other two little ones and still haven't completely made our minds up.

It has been a tough decision and we would like all of your thoughts and prayers as we work through this. Our "letter of interest" is not even close to being a "referral" for her, since we still have a lot of paperwork to go through, but it has taken our desire to adopt in a new direction. Daily we wrestle with whether or not we would like a healthy, able bodied child or a special needs child, but this week has opened our eyes and our hearts to a whole new world that we can help.

Thanks for checking in and keeping us in your thoughts and prayers!

Derrick, Sunshine, Brenna Grace and "Hope"

Heard back from Jennifer!

2005-08-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

Jennifer called just a few minutes ago... the Home Office sys they highly discourage young children traveling, but if it's the only option for us, then they will grant it.

Another option was thrown out... it sounds promising... Derrick and I both travel to China, recieve Hope, legally adopt her and then Derrick flies home 3-4 days later and I stay with Hope in China to fianlize all of the other details. If we went that route, we would feel more comfortable leaving Brenna stateside with family since it is just a few days. It would still leave Brenna out of the loop, but I know everything would work out in the end.

I am feeling a little better and Derrick and I are ready to move to the next step.... scheduling our Home Visit.

~Sunshine :o)

Still waiting, but building a game plan.

2005-08-03T05:51:00.000-07:00

Derrick and I talked last night, and even though I have searched out other options, what feels right is adopting from China. Whne I envision a new addition to our family, I see a brown-eyed, black hair little girl with a big toothy smile! I can't shake that.

We talked about how to make this work. Even if the Main Office with our adoption agency agrees to allow my mom and Brenna to travel now, I am very uneasy that this will still be true when we are set to travel. I think things will change and policy will be concrete.

Our first choice is for Derrick and I to travel with Brenna. That is ideal.
I think we have decided that our back up plan would be for me (Sunshine) to travel with a long-time family friend of Derrick's. (We haven't asked her yet.) :o) That way Derrick could be home with Brenna and I would receive Hope. The down side to this idea is tat the adoption would not be legal until a California court made it such. (If both parents travel to China, then the adoption is made legal in China.)

This idea gave me peace.... Sharon and her family are long-time family friends with Derrick's family. Sharon is a strong Christian and has traveled to China on a mission before. She just returned from mission trip to Russia. She has a true heart for God. Her children are older, one in college and the other in High School. Sharon is also a registered nurse... another plus. *wink*

We are still waiting to hear back from our social worker to see what news she has, but this is where it stands now... still waiting, but a little more hope for Hope. :o)

~Sunshine

Holding Pattern...

2005-08-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

In a holding pattern today...

Want to move in a direction, some direction, any direction, but don't know which way to go!

Searched out domestic and international special needs children today, but the travel would still be an issue for International.

Oh, I feel like the rug has been pulled from beneath me... what do we do from here?

We are waiting to hear back from Jennifer to see what the Home Office has to say about our travel, but I still feel uneasy.. even if they say they will grant it to us, we are looking at travel next summer, and who is to say that what is stated now will still hold true when we are ready to go?

This bites....
~Sunshine

Crossroads!!

2005-08-01T18:01:00.000-07:00

We are at a crossroad.

We had our Individual Interviews this morning. They went well, but we rec'd some unsettling news....

We had planned to travel to China with Brenna and my (Sunshine) mom. We wanted to incorporate Brenna in the whole process of receiving Hope. We wanted her there for Gotcha Day and the entire transition. We felt is was very important in the bonding process for the sisters to meet immediately and be together for the initial days. We had planned to have my mom travel with us so that Brenna would be getting a lot of attention herself, while we were caught up in dealing with Hope and whatever immediate issues needed to be addressed.

Well, our adoption agency is considering putting a limit on any family members outside of the adoptive parents traveling. (The purpose of this limit is so that more adoptive parents can travel in a group if fewer extended family members travel to China, as the group numbers are limited.) I had read that this was coming and have discussed with Derrick the possibility of adopting from a country that does not require extended foreign travel. (China requires 12-14 days in country for the legal proceedings.)

Hearing this news today, had me reeling! I came home utterly exhausted and easily broke into tears! (It didn't help that I had the bunny hutch lid crash down on my face minutes before we were leaving this morning... leaving me with a wretched headache and a scraped, bruised and obviously swollen cheek.) I sat down with Derrick and we talked... I cried... we are considering a different country, special needs children, domestic adoption and even me traveling alone to China to receive Hope while Derrick stays here with Brenna.

We called our social worker (Jennifer) and she worked us in to answer questions this afternoon... two trips in one day! :o) She's a sweetie! Jennifer jotted notes about our concerns and said she would contact the Main Office and see what they can do.
Jennifer will also call us when they get their next batch of Special Needs profiles in.

This is all very emotional for me. Happy that we are one step closer and sad that we have hurdles placed in front of us (in addition to the financial ones.)

So that is where it stands.... for now...

Sigh,
Sunshine

Paperwork Submitted...

2005-07-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

I turned in our first leg of paperwork yesterday!
That was a project and felt like it took forever!

We had DOJ fingerprints, health Insurance affidavits, employer verifications, family backgrounds and the very long (like forever and a day to complete) essays... two packets each plus one joint packet. The questions were very intense, and required a lot of thought.

....but they are complete now.
Just waiting for the call for the next step... the individual interviews.

~Sunshine

They called!!

2005-07-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

Our adoption agency called yesterday... they wanted to know how we were doing on our packet. We have so little left:
Derrick is finishing up some essay questions and I am on to the reading.... some *really* tough reading... it was taking me forever to read just a few pages... the stuff is pretty heavy!

So, our social worker said that we didn't have to get the reading finished to move onto the next step. Can you believe it???
That means Derrick needs to hurry up and finish his International Adoption essay packet and we will then submit this first phase our HomeStudy.

The next step will the Individual Interviews... and I am sure more paperchasing... yay!
I am SO excited! I am getting baby-fever... and this phone call came at the perfect time! *whew!*

I hope to update you shortly with our appt. dates!

~Sunshine :o)

She needs a name.

2005-07-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hope is what we call her, but it will most likely be her middle name, not her first.

What do you think of the name Brooklynn?

A VERY good online friend named her youngest daughter Brooklynn and I LOVE it! (Thanks Kellie for not minding!)
The name has grown on Derrick too!
I like Brooklynn Faith. Derrick says, "No way, it sounds like a church." LOL!
He likes Brooklynn Hope.

We have been trying to find a name that goes with Brenna... and I kind of got hung up on the Br's. Other names are stillin the running, but I thought I would share this one first. :o)
So... what do you think?

~Sunshine :o)

What's going on with the Homestudy?

2005-07-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

It's a long, long process... not all that difficult, just long!

I'm down to just my reading and filling out our financial statement.
Derrick is still working on his essay packet.

My Summer School Teaching position has really put in a dent in my time to devote to this process (along with running an in-home business.) I have two more weeks of Summer School and then I shouldn't have any more teaching commitments until September. *whew!*

Another reason why I don't think we are rushing to complete this phase in the HomeStudy process is that we haven't done any more fundraising outside of our online charity auctions. A HUGE chunk of change is coming due and we only have a small fraction of it. We need to get busy on this... but it's such a daunting task as well! Part of me says, we have no credit card debt, so just charge it and pay it off with our next tax return... BUT that money is already earmarked for travel expenses to China. (And that is not how you stay out of debt, right?)

It's all about faith... and I KNOW it will all work itself out... God is in control and that is what matters... and trusting His will!

Just wanted to give a quick update so you would know where we are at in the process. :o)

~Sunshine :o)

First Fundraiser... please check out these awesome mamas stores!

2005-06-02T11:13:00.000-07:00

The sweet mamas at the cloth diapering (yes, we cloth diaper with the NEW cloth!) put together an amazing raffle as a fundraiser for Hope. We are in the process of raising the funds for our HomeStudy fees... they run $6,800 and that includes, the agency fee and the post placement fees.

The total rasied was $1,020!!! Can you believe that?
I thought it would be nice to give links to all of the gracious mamas that donated, so herethey are:

Royal Majesty Ware http://www.royalmajestyware.com
FluffyMail http://www.fluffymail.com
Woolly Rascals http://woollyrascals.com/index.html
Doodle Jewels http://www.doodlesjewels.com
Little Belle http://www.littlebellesoakers.com
Little Earth Angels http://www.littleearthangels.com
Whimsical Fairies http://www.whimsicalfairies.com
Count on It http://www.count-on-it.com/count-on-it/index.htm
Bottom Bumpers http://www.bottombumpers.com
Little Boy Blue http://www.littleboybluediapers.com
Bum-Ware http://www.bum-ware.com
Sugar Pie Baby http://www.sugarpiebaby.com
Buttercup Bunnies http://www.buttercupbunnies.com
Kate (no store linky, but make s wonderful wine glass charms!)
Danielle (no store linky for her either, but she crochets up adorable newborn sets!)
and we donated a few sets oursleves... from www.FlutterbyBaby.com .

Thank you to Kellie from Royal Majesty Ware who did SO MUCH to pull this together and even created an adorable template wityh info about us and links to our journey. She's did an incredible job!

Thank you to all who doanted items... each and every one of them touched us greatly!

Thank you to all that purchased tickets... I wish that each and every one of you could have won something. You all certainly deserve it! :o)

Climbing the Mountain of Paperwork

2005-05-29T14:07:00.000-07:00

We have been very busy this last week working on adoption paperwork and crossing off "things to do". We have also started our first fundraiser and are slowly gaining ground on the amount needed for our homestudy fees.

Last week we had our Livescan fingerprinting done and we have all but one verification form in. Sunshine ordered our "required reading" books and we should have those very soon, so we can start our reading assignments.

Our homestudy question packets were not as long or intense as we had anticipated. After our orientation last winter, we were ready for binders full of questions that would take months to answer. Although we have several pages of questions to answer, we are making great progress. Sunshine is done with one packet and half way on her other. Of course, Derrick is not quite that far along, only about 2/3 along on the first packet, but not bad for him. : )

The raffle has been doing well, also. We have almost 20 items donated by over 15 different WAHM's. That has really been a blessing and we are so thankful for the support of so many people.

Not everyone has been supportive though and this week we encountered people that don't understand the sacrifice involved in adopting a child from China. One particular instance last week our raffle was singled out and "slammed" because in the eyes of some our "need" is not as great as others who are seriously ill or who are stuggling financially. It was very sad to have our need for homestudy fees to be compared to the needs of others who are battling illnesses. We look at our raffle as an opportunity for others to be able to participate in some way in saving Hope from a horrible life of institutional living and not knowing that anyone truly loves her. We have never looked at our need as being as great as those who are battling diseases, though.

For those that have donated raffles items or bought tickets, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Each of you has extended a helping hand towards Hope and made it a little easier to bring her home, where she will know love like never before.

One of the reasons for our blog was to keep each of our supporters up to date on our process and to have a record for Hope to look back on someday and know that there were literally hundreds of helping hands that brought her home to us. And to those that don't believe in this, we pray that God will soften your hearts.

~Derrick

WOW! The support is AMAZING!!!

2005-05-26T12:46:00.000-07:00

My little Hope... I wish you could know how much you are already wanted, loved and prayed for! Your future family already prays for you and your mommy, even though you are probably still residing in her tummy.

I talk about you a lot to our friends, family and at the Cloth Diapering forum that I frequent.
We are raising money to help pay for all of the fees that we have for your adoption. The girls at the forum have graciously donated items to raffle!
Check out the raffles here: http://hyenacart.com/Charity_raffles/ and feel free to purchase some raffle tickets! :o)
Kellie from http://royalmajestyware.com has made the cutest template with ladybugs and all for each raffle item! thank you Kellie!
Karen from http://hyenacart.com donated the use of her shopping cart system. (I'm liking HC more and more as I use it!) :o)

Here's a list of the donated items so far:
LC AIO Sz 1 diaper by Fluffymail
Kanji Set, 3 Embroidered Very Baby AIOs (or Pockets) by FlutterbyBaby
Tinkerbell Set, 3 embroidered Very baby AIOs (or Pockets) by FluttebyBaby
Wool Care & Wet Bag Set donated by Woolly Rascals
Custom Anklet donated by Doodles Jewels
Snips and Snails Set 3 Vb AIOs (or Pockets) by FlutterbyBaby
CUSTOM VB SS Fitted donated by Little Belle
YPS tie dye shortalls/overalls donated by Little Earth Angels
Semi Custom Soaker donated by Whimsical Fairies
Newborn crochet baby sweater/hat/booties donated by Danielle
Stars and Stripes Dress and FB set donated by RMW
Set of 6 Wine Glass Charms donated by Katie
OV dipe Dyed Changing Pad cover by Bottom Bumpers
Busy Bees handpainted board game from Count On It
$30 Gift certificate donated by Little Boy Blue
$30 Gift certificate donated by Bum- Ware Cloth diapers
Custom Diaper donated by Buttom Bumpers
2 Sugarpiebaby AIO's YPA donated by Lisa
Very Baby Fitted Diaper donated by Buttercup Bunnies

These are ALL such wonderful items donated by FABULOUS WAHMs... check out their raffles, buy some tickets and go shopping at their sites!

Thank you mamas!
Our family is very touched by your generosity!
*hugs and kisses!*
~Sunshine :o)

Mountains of paperwork...

2005-05-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

We left for camping (for 4 days) the day after our Intake Interview. We took along our packet of paperwork that was given to us at the end of the Interview.

We worked on the questionaires... still not complete, but we made some major headway... and made lists of the errands we need to run to have forms completed. It doesn't seem as bad as the agency prepared us for... but I am sure there are many more pages to come. :o)

In the next few days we will buy our "required reading" books. As part of our homestudy, we must read three books about international adoption from a list. Sunshine and her mom have already begun to read books about China adoptions (sometimes two books at a time), but none of those were on this list, I guess you can never be too prepared.

We are knee deep in setting up fundraisers.... so many details to consider. We'll keep you posted on our efforts.

Another Milestone!

2005-05-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had our Intake Interview. It was a very exciting day and a big step in the adoption process. We coughed up a huge chunk of change and answered (as well as asked) questions for 2 hours. Some were tough questons, but most of them addressed things we had already thought about and discussed, so we weren't caught off guard by any of them. The social worker was actually surprised how realistic and prepared we already are (thanks to Sunshine and her need to research).

After signing contracts to make the process "official" with the adoption agency, we were sent home with a stack of papers to complete and forms for our employers, for medical exams, fingerprints for the adoption agency, etc. We have to answer oodles of questions on pages and pages. We are taking our packet with us to the lake for a 4 day camping trip. Hopefully when we return our packets will be finished and next week we can finish up the forms to our employers, get the fingerprints done and complete another step.

Once everything is complete we each go in for our individual interviews...and more forms and more money...LOTS of forms and verifications...but all of this means that our HOMESTUDY HAS BEGUN! :o)

Yesterday was very encouraging...contracts were signed and questions were answered. Our social worker is really great, she is so calm and "in control", she really made us feel at ease as we continue on in our journey to China. It was so wonderful to hear all of the stories the social worker had to tell.. not all paint a wonderful, beautiful picture of the perfect family... actually they were very "real" and discussed more of the hurdles we will face once Hope comes home.

One hurdle that we talk about a lot is prejudice. Prejudice against Hope and even against our family. Hope will look very different from us...we are all blondes and she will have black hair... we have light colored eyes and she will most likely have beautiful brown eyes. BUT, she will be our child, she will be Brenna's sister, we will be her parents and we will face all of the struggles together.

Our fundraising will begin in a few days. We have to come up with $6,800 during this next step. We are planning a fundraising dinner, we will sell raffle tickets for a week at our gorgeous timeshare in Las Vegas, we will be holding a special online auction for embroidered cloth sets made by Sunshine and whatever else we can come up with!

In addition to those fees, we have passports to purchse, fingerprint fees, immigration fees, notary fees and have to get a state seal (at $26 a page...OUCH) on everything in our Dosier! Hopefully these will be spread out a bit and we will just absorb the expenses as they come due.

The China adoption process costs a total of $21-25,000 by the time you are finished. Thank God it is not all due at once! LOL! But can you really put a price tag on Hope? Thanks for checking in and continue to remember us as we travel along our road to China.

Finally!

2005-05-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

We have finally set up a place to blog our journey...
Over the next few days we will try to update you on how our journey began and where it has taken us thus far.

Hope is our little girl in China. We do not know if she is still residing in her mommy's tummy or if she has already taken up residence in an orphanage but we pray for the two of them. How hard it must be for Hope's birth mommy to have to let her go... We cannot imagine the emotions!

Our hearts cry for the little baby that will be left out on a doorstep or on a street corner all alone, hungry and wanting to held, fed and nurtured. What a rough beginning for a child.